As a child you were quite close to your father, what are some of the fond memories of that period you still hold dear to you?
Indeed I remember my childhood with fond memories especially because of my late father whom I was very close to. I was his favourite being the last of his three children. I was pampered by him a lot and so when he died, I was totally lost and up till now even after 14 years, I still miss and remember him with fond memories.
While growing up, I loved reading books a lot. Perhaps it was as a result of the discipline instilled in us from that early age. I read anything including magazines etc. My appetite for books even up till this point is insatiable.
I remember that as an undergraduate in the university, I wasn’t much of a party person. I’m not sure I attended any party while in school. Some of my friends thought I was boring for not attending parties while in the university. For me, it was just my books and then church.
In fact I never had a boyfriend during that period of my life despite the fact that I am a trained sex therapist and marriage counsellor today. I was more of a book person than a social lady during those early days.
So, at what point did you first have a real relationship?
Well,that was during the last month of my National Youth Service Corps programme in Kebbi State.We started dating and was looking forward to bigger things but everything soon ended. You can imagine how heartbroken I was to leave the guy at that time.
What qualities attracts you to a person the most when you meet them?
One of the things that attracts me to a person when I meet them is their intellect. The ability to have a stimulating conversation interests me a lot. I have met many people and couldn’t even have a conversation with them because they didn’t have anything to say or any value to offer.
So, I love people that are able to stimulate my mind intellectually.
How do you pamper yourself when the need arises?
My daily schedule is usually loaded but in the midst of it all I try to pamper myself.We have an in-house spa at our office and this makes it easier for me to have a massage and do other things like scrub more often.
Also, I try to make out time to swim even though I just started recently but I find it relaxing. I try to do these and several others to relax myself when the time surfaces.
What does a typical weekend look like for you?
During most weekends, I have clients I attend to despite working throughout the week. These are people who barely have time between Mondays and Fridays, so I make out time over the weekend to attend to them.
I usually attend some church activities over the weekend as well and keep in touch with family and friends. I make sure I spend a lot of time with my immediate family as well. This is very important to me.
I don’t think I am a fashion person. I usually shop for items when I feel there is a need for it.For instance, I shop for fashion items once in three months and I buy a lot of things during that period.
Between mobile gadgets and jewellery, which are you a fan of the most?
I think I am a bigger fan of jewellery than mobile gadgets which I think are just for communication.
Are their favourite destinations you love to spend your holidays?
What local Nigerian cuisine can’t you do without tasting in a week?
What type of cars do you have flair for the most?
Are there specific advice that your parents gave you that has lived with you till this day?
A few years ago, I had a friend that was married and after giving birth, she was having issues in her marriage. She had low libido and issues with virginal tightness and was looking for something to make it better because it was almost breaking her home. She and her husband were about to go their separate ways. I told myself that I had to find a solution to their case because I didn’t want them to divorce.
I embarked on a research to see how I could salvage the situation. I never knew that would mark the beginning of my journey into becoming a sex therapist. Soon, I began a course at a counselling institute in Scotland where I eventually obtained a diploma in counselling and a certificate in Couple and Family Counselling.
Later, I went on to obtain a certificate in Human Sexuality from the Institute of Sexology, California, United States.
While still studying for these specialty, I was able to help my friend and her husband deal with their sex problems. I was able to tackle the problem of low libido and vagina tightening the lady was experiencing based on the knowledge I had acquired. They are still together today.
From your experience, what is the most common complaint as regards sex among couples?
The most common complaint from couples that I have noticed is mismatched libido. This is a situation where the man or woman has a higher libido than the other partner. This disparity causes a lot of friction in many marriages today.I have dealt with a lot of cases like this over the years and I can tell you it is a serious problem in many Nigerian homes.
I would say that I have been surprised at the way Nigerian men and even women who have come across me relate with me as regards my job as a sex therapist. So far, I have not gotten any unwarranted advances from men as a result of what I do.
Instead, I have received a lot of respect from people. Nobody has so far felt that because I am a sex therapist, I’d be a loose woman and then want to demand sex from me. For this, I really appreciate Nigerians especially the men because to be honest before I started I thought these issues would constantly come up.
My mother was my biggest supporter when I started this journey.She would go to churches and tell them that her daughter needed to come and talk to them about sex and their marriages. She would tell them that I could teach them how to have good sex. Despite her age at the time, she was tired of people pretending and dying in silence because they weren’t enjoying sex in their marriages.
To be honest, at that time I was quite scared of what people would say about me. But I was surprised at the level of support I have received since becoming a sex therapist. The support of my family has been a huge factor in my success along this journey.
What are some of the challenges associated with your job?
The biggest among them all is when the spouse of a client seeking better sex isn’t cooperating. While one person feels the need for a sex therapist, the other doesn’t buy the idea. This usually makes the work very slow and difficult.
So, do you practise some of the sexual tips you give?
Of course! Apart from the tips I give, there are some things that practising helps you to know better. So, yes,I practise what I teach a lot.
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